Instructions Noun [Latin: ‘Involvolus’]
Lie on the dancefloor face down, with your legs as straight as possible,
and your arms bent either side of your big manly dad chest, so that your palms
are touching the floor.
With an explosive, pulsating burst of energy, spring off from the ground
with your hands, to kick-start a rippling ‘wave’ effect throughout your entire body,
from head to toe.
By energetically shifting weight from your upper to lower body and vice versa, the athletic aim is to try and
mimic a wiggly-worm
wiggling along forward or backwards, depending on your preference or ability.
Caterpillaring ‘nirvana’ can be achieved by successfully writhing across
an entire emptied dancefloor ‘runway’, between two human walls of rapturous
shrieking onlookers.
To reach ‘World Dad Dancing Champion’ or ‘Legend’ status, start with a
hand-stand or finish off with a jumping ‘Five Star’, as demonstrated on BBC
Radio Five Live.
Origins
Soft rays of sunlight rose from the sleepy desert darkness, when
King Nebuchadnezzar II gazed admiringly over his terraced creation of natural
beauty, the fabled ‘Hanging Gardens of Babylon’.
The year was 562 BC, and this Iraqi ruler justifiably felt
pompously smug, self-righteous & egotistically-satisfied for building a
true wonder of the ancient World.
As a devoted gesture of love for his wife, Queen Amytis, King
Nebuchadnezzar II spent over forty-three years supervising this remarkable irrigating
engineering feat, involving an ascending series of intricate tiered gardens of
paradise, overlooking the tempting Tower of Babel.
However, little did he know that his splendid Babylonian gardens
would all be entirely destroyed within a single month, due the frenzied and
relentless eating capabilities of the ‘Pink Bollworm Caterpillar’. Quite
literally a single Pink Bollworm Caterpillar.
It has been universally depicted, by numerous ancient scribes,
that just one larvae of this voracious feeder dropped into the Hanging Gardens
of Babylon, from the wing of a passing pelican, and the resulting caterpillar
hatched upon a particularly succulent and mouth-watering ‘Jericho Rose’ plant.
The forthcoming propensity of damage was veraciously insatiable!
In other words, proper plant-chomping of Biblical proportions!
Soft rays of sunlight rose from the sleepy desert darkness, when
King Nebuchadnezzar II gazed over his terraced gardens of total annihilation!?!
Just one month later, this Iraqi ruler justifiably felt unpompously
unsmug, unselfishly-unrighteous & unegotistically-dissatisfied. In fact, he
was totally distraught…and so was Queen Amytis…and the whole of the Babylonian
civilisation.
Today, it’s ironic that all modern dads try to celebrate the
‘Caterpillar’ in a creative form of dance, when it actually originates from the
total destruction of one of the ‘Seven Wonders of the Ancient World’, the Hanging
Gardens of Babylon. Fact.
