Moody Woody

Instructions Adverb [Latin: ‘Kessinger Woody’]

With wild arms a flailing and mad legs a wailing, scrumple your face with an almighty Guern, and dance around like a lunatic, shouting “I’m Moody Woody!” Repeatedly.

Origins

In early Roman Britain (272 AD), Paulinus Pomonius (‘Paulipom’) was the stressed out Royal Auxiliary Archiver of the Imperial Roman Army, stationed in Winchester.

Paulipom was solely accountable for categorising, storing and safely transporting urns of cremated Royal Roman War Heros from Britain to Rome, back to their powerful families, under pain of death.

However, with over thirteen children, chronic hayfever and ailing eyesight, Paulipom struggled to concentrate on the enormity of his regal remembrance responsibilities, on a daily basis. However, this struggle would struggle to struggle against one Tuesday lunchtime struggles, which was struggling to say the least.

After mediating a particularly taxing, overcomplicated & gruelling midnight peacekeeping negotiation between three rivalling, overcomplicated & gruelling siblings, Paulipom was properly pooped!

The following morning, he trudged deliriously to work, tramping over his toga & turbulently trying to stay awake. Unfortunately, that particular Tuesday was particularly pollenful, and Paulipom’s tickled nostrils needed to let out some steam.

In fact, the power of Paulipom’s power sneezes knocked over and smashed an urn containing the remains of General Maximus Millimus Maximillian Millimaximus (whose family owned ‘The Colosseum’). Before he had time to reflect, a subsequent rapid firing of nasal-based air projections also toppled a series of shelved urns, like devious dominos, with dramatic effect.

A grey-faced Paulipom stared incredulously at the total destruction of the Imperial Roman Army Urn Store.

Then he reacted.

The forthcoming ferociousness of Paulipom’s ferocity fell into a frenzied frenzy. With wild arms a flailing and mad legs a wailing, he scrumpled up his face with an almighty Guern and danced away into the stinging midday sun, screaming “I’m Moody Woody!” Repeatedly.

The ‘Moody Woody’ briefly appeared in the ‘World Dad Dancing Championships 2016’ results coverage on BBC Spotlight.